What is a
Sailor?
Between the security of
childhood and the insecurity of second childhood we find a
fascinating group of humanity called sailors. They come in all
assorted sizes, weights and sobriety. They can be found
anywhere, on ships at sea, in shore bases, in bars, in love and
always in debt. Girls love them, towns tolerate them and the
government support them. A sailor is laziness with a pack of
cards, bravery with X tattooed arms and the protector of the
sea with a copy of ‘Men Only’.
They have the energy of a
turtle, the slyness of a fox, the brains of an idiot, the
stories of a sea captain, the sincerity of a liar and
aspirations of a Casanova, and when he wants something it is
usually connected with a request form.
Some
of his interests are;
· Women
· Dames
· Girls
· Females
· Opposite sex
He dislikes answering letters,
wearing his uniform Pussers style, the ‘old man’, the
‘Jimmy’, officers, Pusser’s grub and ‘Call the
hands’.
No one else can cram into one
small pocket;
· A little green book
· A packet of crushed Players
· A picture of his girl
· A comb
· An old ‘station card’
· What’s left of his last fortnight’s pay
He likes to spend some of his
money on girls, some on beer, some on poker and the rest
foolishly.
A sailor is a magic creature;
you can lock him out of your home but not your heart. You can
scratch him off your mail list but not off your mind.
His is your long away from home
love and your one and only bleary-eyed good-for-nothing bundle
of worries, but all your shattered dreams become insignificant
when your sailor docks, looks at you with those bloodshot
bleary eyes and says - “Hiya Honey”.
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CCY's
Inspection
The Proud CCY was
surveying his bunch of new
recruits. They were the best class he had ever had
except for one, who shall remain nameless, but we
shall call him Smiff (two ff's second one silent).
"How long
have you been in the RN Smith?" enquired the CCY.
"Three
Months" Smith replied proudly.
The CCY
retorted "How did you manage to get that No 8 shirt so
dirty in
only three months Smith?"
.......................................................................................................................................................
Navy
Days
Smallie
boy at Navy Days.
"Are
you a sailor mister?"
"Sure
am son", came the reply
"When
I grow up I'm going to be a sailor too"
"You
can do one or the other son, but not both!" came the
laconic reply.
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